Crawling in a New Direction
I started writing a post last week, the usual “end of year, excited about the future” type thing that most bloggers commit to posting. While I genuinely thought I was in a good place when I read over the draft, I could not bring myself to share it. It sounded so incredibly depressing, and borderline cinematic. I couldn't even believe I was describing the events in MY life! It read like a script for a really bad romantic comedy. You know the kind… Cue voice over:
“This Christmas… A story of heartbreak, betrayal, and 365 WTF moments, as a 3 month pregnant woman is left by her husband... on the eve of Christmas eve... *** Cue Last Christmas – George Michael***
She thought there was hope, until she recieved the news of…the other woman.
Life as she knew it, was over… She thought she would never love again… She silenced her sorrows with labne, olives, Nat King Cole and gangster rap…
But on her 32nd birthday, the delivery of an unexpected gift changed everything…
***Cue really loud uplifting music, preferably “Valerie” by Amy Winehouse… ***
Little did she know that this little boy would turn her world around, and remind her that while life can be weird… it’s still wonderful… and completely worth living.
From the people who brought you “Valentines Dismay”, and “That Would Never Happen to Anyone I know”, comes the movie nobody has been waiting for…
Actually ridiculous. But actually my life.
To say that 2016 was a bad year would be a lie. To say that it was the best and worst year of my life would be more truthful. Dealing with divorce is much like dealing with death. I’ve had to go through the same emotions that dragged me down that dark and messy journey that only comes after you feel like you've lost something irreplaceable… but I swiftly realised that it was not death I was dealing with, and that while the ex is doing perfectly fine, there is no reason on God’s green earth that I’m not worthy of true freedom and happiness. My conscience is clear and although my heart is still on ice, I’m definitely curious about whatever is meant to happen for me this year. I don't have a crystal ball, but I’m really hoping that pepperoni pizza is on the horizon.
One morning I woke up and took a good long look at Xavier’s peaceful sleeping face. I felt nothing but pure gratitude fill my heart. I felt thankful for everything including the sorrow. I felt like maybe God needed for my heart to break open to make room for the overflow that Xavier would inevitably bring. For a moment in time, I genuinely didn't know how I could possibly love anything more than I had loved my ex-husband. Now I know how preposterous that is. I learnt that when I allow God to take full control of the love in my heart, I become fortified and can accept the graces I need to survive any storm. I learnt that my love is actually inexhaustible. Its’ really not my love anyway… it comes from somewhere else... somewhere that's not touched by divorce, or suffering. I’m eternally thankful for the few who keep reminding me that my purpose in this life is linked to something far greater than I had ever believed.
So many things have shifted in 12 short months. New friendships have bloomed, and old ones have strengthened. Someone close just told me that time is relative, and that just because you live with someone your whole life, does not necessarily mean you really know them at all. This has inspired me to live my life honestly and never be ashamed of what I believe to be true. I now trust that sometimes the biggest changes can happen in the shortest amount of time… and that anything is possible…including healing.
Change is in the air for projectsweetstuff.com. Three changes you can expect to see include...
Project Sweet Stuff Beauty
So this year I’m changing the way things are done around here. My blog is about to get personal. Really personal. My family and friends are jumping on board for the ride and I’m pretty excited about that. Isabella my niece is taking on the role of Beauty Editor. She’s a gun. She’s funny. She’s intelligent, and she’s very scared of birds. You’ll love her honest and quirky approach just as much as I do.
Networking is what I do best. I meet people who know other people and somehow connect dots that lead those people to where they’re supposed to be. I spent months questioning what on Earth I was going to do to keep myself sane and stay creative while being a full time mother. While making cakes is definitely one great way of staying busy, I don't have the time and freedom to take the orders that I was once able to. Having a busy little boy is hard work as it is. But something that I’ve always done well is work with other creatives on killer concepts based on their art.. And this is it… you’ll be reading more about the inspiring people I meet and the amazing things they do.
My Life as a Mother
I’m going to share more about my journey into motherhood, but I promise not to forget about the things that built this little blog to begin with… like delicious recipes and the people and places that inspire them. As a single mother who has massive hopes and dreams for her little family of two, it’s super important to me that Xavier comes along for the ride… the road trips, the cafes, the airports… all of it. And when I have the time, I’ll share what counts and wont bore you with the colour of his poops.